so my life is really differnt since i moved to Hamilton... i am now livin on my own... its very werid since i dont know how to cook that well....my persaity has changed alot... befor i whould only wear pants in the summer but fuck its too hot i had to buy myself a skirt.... it is really hotter here then in kenora and thatd VERY differnt... befor when u where hot u can go to the lake and just jump in... but here... the lake it too far to go to!!! so fuck it deal with the heat!!!!,..... i Start school soon and i am very happy i got all the shit i need... i now i spent ALOT of money but i got what i needed... school shit..food bus pass.... so i did really good.. i got what i needed and not blow my money.... but it sucks not have much but its life.. and im tryin to live it! i really cant wait till school starts i have been really bored with this month offf!!!!.......I cant wait till my mom and the other sistter and Ella comes down... but i dont know where to take KC and Ella... like i chill in town and i really dont want anyone down there with me well... i dont want Ella there.... And yes i am sorry about my last update... i still cant get over nanny beenin gone its really not the same!!!! I really wish i can get over it and keep livin my life but now my life feels empty maybe i will find somthin to fill that hole with but who knows anymore right...Im Happy Robyn Had her babby.... hes such a little cuttie!!!.... I think Tay is doin good but i know he wants to go back too school right Robyn?!... but thats alll i have to say this time... i really dont know what more to say....

Its so weird that nanny is not around.... I still cant get over that shes gone i still have this feeling that when I'm going to call her and shes going to pick up not mom or Pete.... dose anyone else feel that way? I know it was a little weird for me to sit with her when she was died but i felt a little at peace when I was with her and it made me feel a little happy but now I don't feel at peace i feel so empty... i feel like there is nothing there anymore....


I now feel a little better writing this

Last night when i was sleepin i heard her .... i heard nanny say my name... it was really creepy!... it felt like she was there too... i always feel her.... she has not left us....